Ah… so here we sit, you and I, and you ask why am I here. I first started this blog because the Jabberwocky had taken over my life and this was the beginning of my journey to take my life back.
You see, it began when I was sixteen. Now, thirty years later, I can look back and see how much of my life has been stolen by the beast. Days spent fighting through the pain to try to have a normal life, nights twisting in agony, tears rolling down my cheeks. Then, in July, it reached a new low. The pain had been so bad, and had gone on like that for so many days, I really couldn’t stand it any more. I was trying to drive myself home from work, and I thought: “If I drive off this bridge, right here, right now, I can end it.”
Of course, I didn’t really want to end my life. But, I was so desperate to find some way to escape from the pain!
Fortunately, shortly after starting this blog, I finally got relief from my migraines. I had two relatively good years! But there was a creeping shadow in the background, a dull pain in my back, radiating pain in my foot and leg, and as time went on, the pain grew until it couldn’t be ignored. I went to the doctor, and I was told that now I have a spinal cord tumor. So, what was a blog about my struggle with migraines has become my blog about my fight to take my life back from this tumor.
Maybe you suffer from migraines (or a spinal cord tumor… or some other challenge) and you feel alone because the people around you don’t understand your suffering. Or perhaps someone in your life is also tormented by the jabberwocky, and you are trying to gain some insight to help you cope with them (I know it must be hard to live with us). Whatever your reason for coming here, I hope you are able to take something away that will make your struggle easier.
MY INFORMAL DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A DOCTOR, NOR AM I TRAINED IN ANY MEDICAL PROFESSION. I DO NOT PRETEND TO BE AN EXPERT; I AM SIMPLY A PERSON WHO IS TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF HER OWN EXPERIENCE. I AM SHARING WHAT I LEARN AND EXPERIENCE HERE BECAUSE I KNOW HOW LONELY THE ROAD FROM DIAGNOSIS TO RECOVERY CAN BE, AND IF I CAN HELP EVEN ONE PERSON, THE TIME I SPEND WRITING THESE WORDS WILL BE WORTH IT.