There are so many things…

The past week has not been a good one for me.  I’ve had a headache on and off now for over a week. While it has frustrated me to suddenly be in the embrace of the Jabberwocky once more, what has been even harder is seeing how it has impacted my life.  With pain I may be able to drive to work, to go through the motions of teaching a class, to prepare a test, to engage in small talk, but all of these things take so much more energy than they normally would! That means by the end of the day, when I reach my house, I don’t have much to give back to my husband.  He prepares my dinner, he watches what is left of me as I eat my meal.  We try to talk, but I am distracted and unengaged. My nerves are raw. I am fragile.

As hard as this is for me, I know it must also be hard for him. I know he agreed to “sickness and health”, but I don’t think this is the life he had in mind for us. I just wish I didn’t feel this way. I wish I were a healthier, happier, painfree version of myself. There are so many things I would do…